being that i have a lot of platonic friends of the male persuasion, i often get asked, “why don’t you date so-and-so?” my response: “why don’t you??” while my relationship with these gents may end at “just friends”, i do try my best to use my womanly wiles and wing-(wo)man when possible. one of these such occasions took place at the now defunct triangle lounge in fremont. seething with frat boys and one-liners, this bar was devoid of finesse and craft cocktails (though i did get more action from a girl that my friend was eyeing than he did). a lot has changed since then, and in 2009, a new bar rose like a phoenix out of the traingle’s ashes. with a verbose name of 9 million in unmarked bills, the space has been redecorated with a bonnie and clyde theme and basic cocktail menu. however, it takes more than new wallpaper and tabletops to reinvent a space, and the clientele still smelled of triangle. to worsen what might have been an otherwise mediocre experience, amateur comedy night at 9 mill drove the nail in the coffin. leave it to our very own danish princess and a most excellent story of swans and iphones to salvage the evening with side-splitting laughter and celialove™.